April is National Autism Acceptance Month. The aim is to increase understanding, foster inclusion, and celebrate autistic individuals. This often begins with World Autism Awareness Day on April 2nd and the month features global campaigns, educational events, and fundraising to promote acceptance in schools, the workplace and communities.
Working as a Solution Focused Mentor and as a Teaching Assistant in a mainstream secondary school, I often work with students with autism and ADHD, either diagnosed or undiagnosed. As we go through a mentoring session or a school day, I sometimes see these students faced with a question which may be confusing for them and for which they may not know what a typical answer would be. Examples could be:
“How do you feel about that?”
“How was school today?”
“Why can’t you go to school?”
“Why did you do that?”
“What’s wrong?”
The language we use in open questions is often designed to gather information so we can help the person. However, sometimes the language we use within these questions can be the problem. Young people can find it hard to understand what they are feeling, let alone why they are feeling it. If that young person also has autism, they may find it even more challenging and intimidating to answer these sorts of wide-open questions……at what might already be a difficult time for them.
In studying for a Level 2 qualification in Autism, I’ve learned that there are some key ways we can support our interactions with young people with autism. What’s more, these adaptations will deliver benefits for neurotypical students too:
Non-judgement
There’s no single, correct view of the world. Being careful not to show any judgement in relation to what a person says, does or believes can help rapport and trust to develop, which is essential if you’re seeking to support the person in question.
More time for processing
Many students, people in fact, need more time to think about a question, in order to offer a useful answer. Our lives are lived at such speed it’s easy to forget this. Google and AI reply quickly but real people need more time. This can be especially true for those on the autistic spectrum. “Wait for the answer and do not fill the silence” is something we practise religiously in solution focused mentoring. It proves we respect the person’s capacity for thought and truly want to hear their answer.
Flexibility in communication method
Face-to-face may not always be the best way. Some people prefer a non-direct form of communication such as text or email. It allows them more time to think about the questions and the answers they want to give. Reducing eye contact can also be important: conversations in the car with a teenager can work better than over the kitchen table, as can sitting beside or diagonally, rather than directly across.
Understanding overwhelm
Taking some time to read up on overwhelm can be worthwhile. Some students spend a good part of most of their days feeling this way. A busy mainstream secondary school can represent a very overwhelming space for both students, teachers and support staff, so adaptations to reduce overwhelm across the board will usually reduce stress levels. In mentoring, we use a “battery template” for this, asking pupils to list what makes them go “into the red” and what “pulls them back to green” (coping mechanisms).
Accepting that all people with autism are unique (like all people are unique)
Being direct with someone about how their autism affects them can be a short cut to getting their support right. For example, not all people with autism need beige food. Hyposensitive people will need more sensory input, from spicy or crunchy food, for instance.
In a nutshell, active listening and getting alongside students can open doors to supportive conversations. This works on and off the autistic spectrum so incorporating more of it into daily life for the people we work with, live with, love, can improve relationships in so many ways.
